


I Feel Like I'm Drowning

by problematicInsomniac



Series: Songs For The Sides [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Human AU, M/M, Toxic Relationship, abusive?? relationship, im not actually sure??, mention of drugs, mention of past drug use, unsympathetic Deceit, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19461610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematicInsomniac/pseuds/problematicInsomniac
Summary: "You keep dreaming and dark schemingYeah, you doYou're a poison and I know that is the truthAll my friends think you're viciousAnd they say you're suspiciousYou keep dreaming and dark schemingYeah, you do"-Two Feet





	I Feel Like I'm Drowning

Virgil has been in his room plenty of times. He's seen all the things hes got; the costumes, the tools, the plans scribbled out on crumbled paper. He's seen the drugs in his hidden compartments and small hiding spots. He even convinced Virgil to personally experience with some of them. It always changed, the things in his room, depending on who was his target at the time. He's sat through many late night ideas and ramblings and watched as he's crumbled the lives of people he's never met.

At the time, he didn't care. At the time, Virgil loved him. He told himself that no matter the plot, no matter the flaw, Virgil loved him because he was honest with him. He told the truth to Virgil and Virgil only. He loved him no matter what. He was still the same dork, the one he met so what felt like so long ago. He'll still dance with him when certain songs come on and point out that Virgil's sense of style isn't very broad.

Then he met the others. First was Roman, the overdramatic, creative theatre nerd. He initially poked fun of Virgil, considering they were partnered together for a class project. Then, through Roman, he met Logan, the supposively "unemotional", intelligent science nerd. They had managed to butt heads yet get along in a way that seemed almost impossible. And finally Patton, the childish, enthusiastic dad friend, who immediately claimed Virgil as his son upon even seeing him.

They were quite the bunch of quirky characters, and Virgil still to this day doesn't know how he found himself befriending the trio. As he slowly started opening up to them, and began to change, he started to become more wary of him. It's not that Virgil didn't know what he did was wrong, it was that he didn't do anything because he was too in love to care. Soon, this caused problems.

As they started to fight, Virgil found himself venting and his friends would point out how toxic and problematic their relationship actually is. His friends, who knew once had knew him, began to hate him and he blamed Virgil, claiming he hadn't done anything wrong.

Virgil was frusterated. He loved him, but at the same time he was finding out how much he's been lying to him. Hurting him. Betraying him. Anytime he tried to confront him about this, he'd spin the situation or point out problems in his personality. He'd put all the blame on Virgil and eventually he'd break down and apologize for his behavior, whether or not he was actually in the wrong.

This continued for months. Eventually, Virgil broke it off with him. Yet he continued to show up now and then, and in those moments Virgil lied with his head on his chest and kissed him with same vigor he used to. Each kiss felt like a stab in the chest. Each time he was around him, he felt as if water was surrounding him, filling all his senses. He was drowning in all his lies. He was being suffocated by the toxicity.

He felt his gloved hands wrapping around his throat, never leaving even as he finally broke of all connection to him. Virgil's mind wandered and the wrong song would come on and he'd be choking from the sobs and the hands wrapped around his heart, his mind. Even many months later, thoughts of him dance through his head and start up the anxiety and sadness he thought he had gotten over.

Even after so long, Virgil would forever drown in Deceit.

**Author's Note:**

> lol its funny bc i wrote this before i really studied deceit's character. also before svs. and i was going through a hard time after getting out of a,,,, toxic? relationship. gosh even to this day i dont know but whatever.


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